Barkeeps and Chorus Girls

The Ripcord staff and I are currently giving each other clever, old-timey nicknames. So far we’ve got Shifty, Shorty, Tiny, Smitty, and Poughkeepsie Lil.

I also came up with Claptrap McGillicutty, which is going over well, but I’m a lot more partial to Sammy Fast Eyes, because it sounds like a character from Angel Heart. We’ll see what sticks.

Teachable Moments

A straight girl just wandered in, picked up a pair of briefs and asked, “Is this a banana hammock?” And then another straight girl dragged her out of the shop while she screamed, “BUT I WANT TO LEARN…”

I hope she comes back. I have so many lessons to bestow upon her.

My Snark Forsook Me

Bar patron: [walks in, looks around] “OH, okay! You sell LEATHER. This is a LEATHER shop.”

I… thought that was self-explanatory. On account of, y’know, all the leather.

If I had it to do again, I would grab a jockstrap and a bottle of lube and yell, “WRONG. We’re a POLYESTER AND SILICONE SHOP.” But I can’t decide if I want there to be a next time or not.