My Bile Knows Your Guile

4 Brass Dice

So I don’t actually practice haurspicy, nor do I have any idea why I think it’s funny to talk about sheep livers all the damn time. I do, however, practice geomancy, which is just as accurate, without all the inconvenient bloodshed. (Usually.)

Geomancy gives a snapshot of possible/probable outcomes through binary symbology — I like to think of it as a metaphysical computer that exists… um… in my mind. Yeah. But anyway, here’s how it works: A question is asked, and then random numbers are generated (traditionally by making marks in sand or on paper, but dice and playing cards work well, too). These numbers are broken down to evens and odds, arranged into a series of figures, and plugged into an astrological chart, which is then interpreted by the wizard covered in entrails and lanolin the geomancer (me). It’s the only system of divination at which I’ve ever displayed any proficiency, so I hold it in unreasonably high esteem.

I’ve read quasi-professionally a couple of times in the past, but I haven’t given regular readings in forever and would love to shake the sand off. (Get it?! Ha! Geomancy jokes are even better than haurspicy jokes.) If you’d like to schedule a reading, just click on the bronze sheep liver below, and I will get to prognosticating. Geomancy tends to produce the clearest answers to questions that start with, “What would happen if…” or “What would be the result of…” but if you just want a general reading, I’ll be happy to run that chart as well.piacenza31