[A customer walks in without a mask.]
Customer: “Hi, I have a question.”
Me: “Okay, but first I need you to put your mask on.”
Customer: “It’s in my pocket.”
Me: “And I need it on your face.”
Customer: “WELL, I DON’T WANT IT ON MY FACE.”
He immediately showed himself out, which saved me the effort of banning him, but honestly, at this stage in the game, I do not understand why people still get uppity about masks. Personally, I plan on wearing them long after the various vaccines become available, for three basic reasons:
1. They’re an inexpensive way to satisfy that normally irresistible compulsion I have to buy and hoard T-shirts.
2. I did not survive alcoholism, nor any number of questionable life choices, just to be taken out by some random queen breathing on me.
3. I have gotten so good at smizing, y’all.