In Which I Finally Understand Why the Maids Always Quit

Ben: “Hey, can I set some stuff on this table? Because it looks like you’ve got some witchcraft going on here, and I don’t want to disturb it.”

Me: “Go for it. Those are just regular candles.”

Ben: “Ah, gotcha. Speaking of, though, I noticed that old, grubby key next to your sink, and I was going to clean it for you, but then I figured it was probably witchcraft.”

Me: “I actually found that outside a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been meaning to wash it off and see if it works on the door to the porch.”

Ben: “I mean, it really seems like it’s maybe witchcraft.”

Me: “It’s honestly not.”

Ben: [skeptical silence]

Me: “I promise.”

Ben: “Well… okay, then. I’m going to start cooking. May I move these rubber gloves, or are they for witchcraft?”

Long story short, I am very lucky to have a boyfriend who is unfazed by occultism. He’s currently making a meatloaf, although dinner is postponed until after I finish putting explanatory sticky notes on everything in the apartment.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

2 thoughts on “In Which I Finally Understand Why the Maids Always Quit”

  1. My boyfriend has been conditioned to hesitate and give me A Look before touching the following items in my room:
    -Shiny rocks
    -Blades of all types (including pocket knives, of which I have many)
    -Mason jars regardless of contents
    -Food items not clearly on dinner plates
    -Standing cups of water
    -My cats’ fallen whiskers
    -Bird feathers
    -Anything producing smoke that is not obviously a house fire
    -My clean laundry. Which doesn’t have anything at all to do with witchcraft, but he’s really bad at folding my clothes.

    Liked by 1 person

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