I Am Nothing Without My Public

Customer in line behind me at Fiesta: [pointing at my purchases] “What’s in that bottle?”

Me: “What, this? That’s Florida Water.”

Customer: “Wow.”

There was a brief, delicious tingle of gratification — like I had just been recognized as a Conjureperson of Great Power by a True Believer — except I hadn’t showered, and my hair was all patchy on account of I haven’t gotten around to shaving my head in a couple of weeks, and also I was buying a pile of frozen dinners. So it’s far more likely that his “Wow” meant, “I thought only Conjurepeople of Great Power needed Florida Water, but I guess so do slovenly homosexuals who don’t eat right.”

Unless by “Wow,” he was saying, “This Conjureperson of Great Power sure scored an excellent deal on frozen dinners!” In which case, yes. Yes, I did, mortal. Thank you for noticing.

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