[My Misfits brother Chris and I are brainstorming possible keynote speakers for GLUE Weekend 2021, when a customer walks in and stares at him.]
Customer: “Were you just smoking a cigar out on the patio?”
Chris. “Yes, I was.”
Customer: “Oh. Sorry.”
Customer: [to me] “Look, I don’t want to be mean…”
Me: “Then don’t?”
Customer: “… but could you fit me for a harness?”
Me: “Okay, not what I was expecting, but sure.”
Customer: “It’s just that some people who work at leather shops are new, and they don’t know how to fit harnesses. Are you new?”
Me: “I am decidedly not new.”
Customer: “Oh, good. I just don’t want to be mean. Thanks.” [to Chris] “And… sorry.”
[He takes a business card and leaves.]
While I’m a little concerned about the customer’s long, dark history with incompetent leather salespeople, I’m mainly just happy for Chris, who can now join the growing legion* of friends who have witnessed first hand the odd shit that happens here.
*I think the technical term is “support group,” but “legion” has a more satisfying, New Testament ring to it.