[Another online conversation with my friend Mike.]
Mike: “If you don’t get this and fill it with poppers for the next birthday party you attend, it will be a crime.”
Me: “I’m going to take the tube out and replace it with a dildo.”
Mike: “That was my second choice. Or put a butt plug in it.”
Me: “BUTT PLUG FTW.”
Mike: “Live mice would also be entertaining.”
Me: “A gender reveal, but cockroaches.”
In conclusion, please don’t invite Mike and me to any parties. Or, y’know, invite us to all the parties. Your funeral.
It is also probably best not to invite us to any funerals.