Keats and Yates Are on Your Side

Recently, in a private Facebook group geared toward such topics, an acquaintance of mine asked, “What are some of the strange, unusual, funny, interesting, weird things you’ve done for witchcraft?”

I am currently not the most observant of Witches. That extended depression I went through earlier this year is partially the cause, but I also just kind of lost interest in the occult (other than the occasional geomantic reading), and I really don’t know what to blame for that. The question, though, got me thinking about how much more content I was when I was actively practicing religious witchcraft, not to mention all the strange, unusual, funny, interesting, weird experiences I used to enjoy on a regular basis as a result of it.

My goal at the moment is to start having those experiences again. I’m not sure how I’m going to go about making that happen, whether I’m going to plug back into old Traditions or branch out into new ones, but either way, I feel like my life is about to get a lot more entertaining than it already is.

In the meantime, please find below a phone call between myself and my co-Witch Trothwy. The call itself occurred ages ago, but in the spirit of Repaganing, and since we have a big holiday coming up, I figured it was worth a retelling.

Trothwy: “Hey! It’s me.”

Me: [quietly] “Hey.”

Trothwy: “Did I call at a bad time?”

Me: [a little louder] “No, no, not at all. What’s up?”

Trothwy: “Well, you know how we were talking about re-reading Paul Huson’s Mastering Witchcraft together?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m enthused about that.”

Trothwy: “And you know how we’ve also been talking about building up more of a visible profile in Houston? I was thinking, what if we combined the two and offered a monthly book study?”

Me: “This is a great idea.”

Trothwy: “Because it’s such an iconic book, you know? And I really feel like the serious practitioners in this area could get some good information out of it.”

Me: “I agree.”

Trothwy: “But here’s my one reservation. Huson covers a lot of fascinating, useful stuff, but he also doesn’t pull punches with his writing. I’m not sure that everyone who might agree to participate will want to hear what he has to say.”

Me: “That is a conundrum.”

Trothwy: “And… okay, do you mind if I just vent?”

Me: “Sure, go ahead.”

Trothwy: “I’m tired of hearing people talk about what amazing Witches they are, when they’re not doing anything. Do you know what I mean? It’s like, fine, you’re a big ol’ Witch, but what actual Witchcraft are you practicing?”

Me: “I understand.”

Trothwy: “And I know there’s this trend right now to separate Wicca from Witchcraft, and to make Wicca all mainstream or whatever, but still, I can’t be the only damned one in this city who feels like…”

Me: “Oh, shit.

Trothwy: “[Thumper]? Are you alright?”

Me: “I think a security guard just spotted me.”

Trothwy: “Um… pardon?”

Me: “Crap, he’s definitely coming this way. I need to get back to my car.”

Trothwy: “If you don’t mind my asking, where are you right now?”

Me: “I’m in a cemetery.”

Trothwy: “And you are in a cemetery, running from security guards at 4 o’clock on a weekday afternoon, because…?”

Me: “I needed graveyard dirt, and they lock the gates at 5.”


Me: “Everything’s fine, though. I paid the guardian spirits with old coins, and I wiped down my offerings for fingerprints before I left them. But I’m sorry, I interrupted you. What were you saying?”

[another beat]

Trothwy: “I fucking love you.”

[Ed. note: The title of this post is a bit obscure, so for more info, click here and bop along to what we used to identify with before Emo was officially a thing.]

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

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