If the mousse tastes chalky, don’t eat it.

Me: [to my dad] “I promise I was joking when I did it, but I posted on Facebook about how your new condo reminds me of Rosemary’s Baby.”

[Ed. Note: The post in question was, “My dad is definitely about to move into the Houston equivalent of the ritzy apartment building in Rosemary’s Baby. The neighbors seem nice, though.”]

My Dad: “Ha ha! That’s really funny, because Mia Farrow used to live here.”

Me: “…”

I’m not sure what to get him as a housewarming gift, but I’m on my way to the Catholic bookstore as we speak.

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