Uncut and Paste

I was officially in charge of GLUE Weekend this year, and against all odds, I didn’t die or murder anyone! I’m calling it a victory. And even though I spent three days battling anxiety attacks while managing crises and bossing the Misfits around, I still found time (like I do every year) to record the bizarre and amusing statements I overheard throughout the event. Thus, I am proud to present a carefully curated list of…

SHIT PEOPLE SAY DURING GLUE WEEKEND
2019 EDITION

“I’m not a Muppet. You’re a Muppet, you Muppet.”

“We got the Leaning Tower of Depression back to his room.”

“Wait… what’s my boyfriend’s name?”

“NON-BINARY, BITCH.”

“We put the devil back in vaudeville.”

“God you’re hot when you’re apathetic.”

“Suck my gray nutrient paste, daddy.”

“You look like death coming to claim souls.” “Then it’s working.”

“I’m already a slut. Don’t get me drunk.”

“I’ll give you my sandwich for your dick.”

“They should rename I-69 We-69.”

“If you can’t get the straw into the Capri Sun, you’re not as vers as you think you are.”

“I heard ‘zoo,’ and then I heard ‘gaping anus.’ What are we talking about?”

“Because fashion, Brenda. Look it up.”

“There are a lot of choices going on here, and I’m not sure they’re the right ones.”

“Now that no one’s squirting water in their butt in our bathroom, I’m going to go pee.”

“Get in, loser. We’re going whoring.”

“Am I molesting the right leg back there?”

“I don’t want to get caught in the crossfire of some angry, resentful cum war.”

“I’m like your first black friend, aren’t I?”

“That stopped being sexy the moment it started.”

“If that cake could talk, it would be like, ‘Of course I’m cake, human.'”

“Have fun storming the asshole.”

2 thoughts on “Uncut and Paste”

  1. “I’m already a slut. Don’t get me drunk.” Definitely a future T shirt . Wishing you a fantastic New Year. Always love reading your posts

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s