Straight Girl: [placing a bundle of bondage rope on the counter with a giggle] “I’d like to buy this, please.”
Me: “Okay. That’ll be $21.64.”
Straight Girl: “My boyfriend’s gonna be like, ‘What the heck?’ Ha!”
Me: “Ha. Yeah.”
Straight Girl: [eyes suddenly burning like coals] “AND I’M GONNA BE LIKE, ‘WHAT TIME IS IT NOW, BITCH?!'”
Me: “…”
Straight Girl: “Byeee!”
Long story short, I just found the spokesmodel for my upcoming #NotAllStraightGirls campaign. The Internet ain’t even ready for her.