It Was Loopholes I Wanted, Now I’m Living Without

Me watching the first episode of The Order: “This is pretty schlocky, but there’s nothing else holding my interest right now.”

Me halfway through Season 1: “None of these alleged college students have gone to class in weeks.”

Me watching the second-to-last episode: “I like how nobody has figured out that they’d have fewer problems if they’d stop giving Very Important Responsibilities to that freshman with the personality disorder.”

Me watching the last five minutes of the season finale: “Oh, good. It’s almost over. Now I can… wait. What is she… Don’t do… NO NO NO DON’T DO THAT… OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!?!”

Me the rest of the evening: [curled up in the fetal position, softly singing “It Must Have Been Love” while a single tear runs down my cheek]

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