[A group of five preppies bustle into the store and crowd around the counter.]
Preppy 1: “Do you sell gum?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t.”
Preppy 1: [clearly disillusioned] “Oh. Okay.”
Me: “I do have some mints, though. Would you like a mint?”
Preppy 1: “Ooh, I would!”
[I hand him my tin of mini Altoids, taking one for myself first.]
Preppy 1: “Thank you!”
Preppy 2: “May I have a mint too?”
Me: “Sure.”
Customer 2: “Thanks!”
[The other three preppies ask if they can also have mints. I nod affirmatively, and they pass the tin around until everyone has imbibed of the winter-fresh goodness. And then…]
Preppy 1: “Wait. Are these just mints?”
[Preppies 2-5 glance over at him, then turn and look at me with mild concern.]
Me: “WELL, I GUESS WE’RE ALL GOING TO FIND OUT IN FIFTEEN MINUTES, AREN’T WE?”
[They freeze.]
Me: “Kidding! I kid. They’re just mints.”
Preppies 1-5: “…”
Me: “Sláinte?”
I feel like this might be one of those times when I think I’m funnier than I actually am. But hey, at least they learned an important lesson about accepting candy from strangers. And also about the social necessity of disposable toothbrushes.
Marjorie's Forgeries 
Everyone loves a minty fresh acid trip
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