Cat Hair Triggers

[So Ben sent me this meme a few days ago...ForgeXM… and the following conversation ensued.]

Ben: “WHO IS THIS AND WHY IS IT NOT YOUR HALLOWEEN COSTUME?!”

Me: “That’s Forge. He was Storm’s first love interest in the X-Men comics. He’s a Native-American sorcerer with the mutant power to invent anything. He built a mutant neutralizer for the government that took away Storm’s powers for most of the 80s, but they reconciled while they were trapped in another dimension, and she got her powers back. They were an item for awhile after that, but they eventually broke up, and she married Black Panther. I think he ended up with Mystique, maybe?”

Ben: “Um… okay, that was a lot.”

Me: “I kind of wish I didn’t know all that.”

Ben: “Nah, it’s cool. I love it when you do nerd-to-Ben translation.”

Me: “Well, I promise I will never force you to listen to my diatribe on everything wrong with the first three X-Men movies. This is my solemn vow.”

Ben: “Nope. Now I want to hear it.”

Me: “You really don’t…”

[twenty minutes later]

Me: “… AND RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF X2, HALLE BERRY SAYS, “OH, MY GOD.” BUT STORM IS A GODDESS WORSHIPER WHO ONCE BELIEVED HERSELF TO BE A GODDESS. STORM WOULD NEVER SAY “OH, MY GOD.” THEY THREW AWAY DECADES OF CANON AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WITH ONE FUCKING LINE.”

Ben: “…”

Me: “And then, of course, Halle Berry got cast as Catwoman. Don’t even get me started on Catwoman.”

Ben: “Yeah, I heard it wasn’t ver-”

Me: “CATWOMAN IS A FEMINIST MASTERPIECE.”

Ben: “Welp, didn’t see that one coming.”

[twenty minutes later]

Me: “… And so she takes down the patriarchal cosmetics corporation, all while kicking ass in open-toed, chunky-heeled shoes…”

Ben: “Whoa, wait a minute. Stop right there.”

Me: “…?”

Ben: “THERE IS NOTHING OKAY ABOUT DOING ANYTHING IN OPEN-TOED, CHUNKY-HEELED SHOES.”

And then he went off on this long rant about current trends in fashionable footwear. Man. if I’d known he was going to get so testy, I wouldn’t have even brought it up.

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