Customer 1: “Hey, can I ask you something?”
Me: “Sure.”
Customer 1: “Someone told me that all these colors mean something. Is that true?”
Me: “Well, the color of a given piece of leather doesn’t real-”
Customer 2: “HE NEEDS YELLOW.”
Me: “… ly mean anything. The only time color indicates something spec-”
Customer 2: “HE’S YELLOW.”
Me: “… ific is if you’re flagging a colored hanky, which would signi-”
Customer 2: “TELL HIM WHAT YELLOW MEANS.”
Me: “… fy your personal kink or fetish. For example, your friend here is into piss play, so he flags yellow.”
Customer 2: “Wait… what?”
Me: “You’re into piss play. That’s what yellow means.”
Customer 2: “I would never…”
Me: “It’s okay, dude. I don’t judge.”
Customer 2: “I’M NOT INTO PISS PLAY.”
Me: “Then maybe you should learn more about the Hanky Code, because if the only color you’re able to talk about is yellow, I am naturally going to assume that you want to get peed on.”
[extended silence]
Customer 2: “I… would like to learn the other colors, please.”
Customer 1: [quietly, to me] “Thank you.”
And that’s how I protect and preserve sacred traditions of my people. The Sentinelese are moments away from accepting me as a cultural attaché.
Marjorie's Forgeries 
was pee boy drunk as well? something tells me he was.
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