Customer: “Could you help me find something?”
Me: “Sure. What are you looking for?”
Customer: “I really want an Eagle Houston T-shirt.”
Customer: “Nothing embellished or anything. Just a plain, solid color T-shirt that says ‘Eagle.’ Do you have something like that?”
Me: “No. We don’t.”
Customer: “Really? Why don’t you have those?”
Me: “Because you’re in Ripcord.”
Customer: “Oh. Right.”
Guys, you know I don’t judge, and in fact this one time, back when I still drank, I got lost in a Dillard’s and couldn’t find my way out – like, I had to call a (very concerned) friend to help me navigate to the exit. But at least I knew I was in Dillard’s, y’know? I wasn’t stumbling around looking for Nordstrom memorabilia.
Be aware of your surroundings, people. And learn your leather bars when you’re sober. This is my life-saving advice to you.