Customer 1: “Do you carry butt plugs?”
Customer 1: “YOU DON’T WANT ANYONE TO HAVE FUN.”
Considering I’d just sold him what he insistently referred to as “gallons” of lube, I guess I assumed the proof of my willingness to facilitate fun was in the pudding. So to speak.
But then, later…
Customer 2: [observing the new “Beware of Notary” sign over the front counter] “So. you’re a notary?”
Me: “I am.”
Customer 2: “Huh. That’s… that’s kind of hot, actually. Just sitting back there… stamping things… mmm…”
You hear that, Customer 1? I bring all the fun. Also, I’m pretty sure I’m about to end up as part of a skin suit. Please postpone the plug hunt and send help.