Putting the Asses in Criminal Assessment

Straight Girl: [to her friend] “FUCK HIM. I AM A GROWN-ASS FUCKING WOMAN WITH MY OWN FUCKING HOME, AND I DO NOT NEED HIS SORRY FUCKING ASS TELLING ME WHAT THE FUCK TO DO. NOBODY TELLS MY FUCKING ASS WHAT TO DO.” [then, to me] “Hello! Would you like to buy a raffle ticket?”

I thought about explaining that unauthorized raffles are considered gambling under Texas state law and as such are a Class A misdemeanor, but instead I just politely declined. Wouldn’t want her thinking my ass was telling her ass what to do.

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