Customer: [poking at a pair of leather suspenders] “This looks like it’s supposed to be part of something else.”

Me: “Oh, those are actually suspenders.”

Customer: [indignantly] “That’s what I said. It’s part of something else.”

In retrospect, I should’ve agreed and sold him three pairs as a customizable web harness, then explained that the wrist and ankle restraints in the BDSM starter kit would transform it into fashionable evening wear. But then he would’ve dug around in the kit and been like, “Well, what am I supposed to do with this bondage rope and this blindfold and these nipple clamps?! These are all parts of other things. WHY WON’T YOU SELL ME A WHOLE THING?!”

So yeah, it’s probably best that I just shrugged and smiled inanely. Anything else would’ve led to verbal warnings and a disconcerting note in my personnel file.