[An excerpt from a conversation between myself and my friend Mike, who is, among other things, an award-winning author.]
Me: “I’m glad you liked the Eli Roth joke in my last post. I was unreasonably proud of it.”
Mike: “It’s funny, because you can immediately picture the girl. In the first scene, she’d be rummaging through her backpack at the hostel, looking for a scrunchie. An hour later, she’d be using the scrunchie as a tourniquet while her friend slapped her and said, ‘Get a hold of yourself, Madison.’”
Shortly thereafter, he decided to write his own slasher film, set at a bear run, in which “every character will be named Tucker.” I feel like it’s safe to preemptively nominate him for Best Original Screenplay.