My Safeword is Director’s Cut

Customer: [looking around] “Is this, like, a dominatrix store?”

Carlisle: “Well, BDSM.”

Customer: “What does BDSM mean?”

Carlisle: “It’s short for bondage, domination, and sadomasochism.”

Customer: “Sadomasochism…?”

Me: “A sadist likes to inflict pain, and a masochist likes to experience pain.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! I just saw a movie about that. It was called 8MM.”

Carlisle: [petit mal spittake]

Me: “Um… that’s… actually about snuff films.”

Customer: “Oh. But it’s all sorta in the same category, right?”

Me: “… No.”

Customer: [nodding] “Fair enough. Fair enough.”

On the bright side, at least he was confused about a decent movie. I can handle a lot of shit, but I am not yet prepared to deal with anyone dazzled by the subtle complexities of 50 Shades Freed.

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