Day Job Co-Worker: “Can you come to the kitchen for a minute? The Sparkletts guy just brought us a new water cooler, and he wants to show someone how to refill it.”
Me: “Okay.”
DJCW: “It’s a bottom loader.”
Me: [dies laughing]
Heavily Tattooed, Musclebound Sparkletts Guy: “Hey there.”
Me: “…”
And then he showed me how to refill the water cooler and left. Thanks for the unrealistic expectations, Adult Entertainment Industry.
Marjorie's Forgeries 
“hey… am I doing this right?”
“You got some water I can help you with?”
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That’s because you spurned the gods’ gift of Hot Key Guy and His Van.
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Aw, man. I forgot all about Hot Key Guy.
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HOW THE HELL CAN YOU FORGET A MAN THAT HOT
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