In Which I Had to Promise Not to Execute Any More Heretics

[A tangential conversation between myself and my sponsor, which occurred while we were working on a Fourth Step.]

Sponsor: “I’ve been to three yoga classes in the past two days.”

Me: “Just out of curiosity, have you ever looked into yoga teaching certification?”

Sponsor: “I have, and I’ve figured out how much money I would need in the bank in order to quit my job and pursue it.”

Me: “You’ve really thought this through, huh?”

Sponsor: “Yup. My dream is to wake up every day and just do yoga and go fishing.”

Me: “Hmmm. Maybe I should quit my job and follow my dreams, too.”

Sponsor: “What, like starting your own Pagan religion?”

Me: “Oh, that’s already on my ‘Harms Done’ list.”

Sponsor: “…”

And then I told him about the Proto-Lithuanian Unicorn Cult, and he stopped blinking for like five minutes. Considering he knows more about me than my parents, my ex, and the Misfits combined, the fact that I’m still able to render him speechless is pretty impressive.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

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