Mannequin Takes Queen

Customer: [holding up a pair of rubber shorts] “Could you try these on for us?”

Customer’s Friends: [anticipatory leering]

Me: “You want me to put these on?”

Customer: “Yesss.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Really? You won’t let us see you in them?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “But how will we know how they fit if you don’t wear them for us?”

Me: “By trying them on yourself.”

Customer’s Friends: [defeated wincing]

Customer: “Oh. But I… that is… we… oh.”

Good game, Mr. Smarmy-Pants. But check and mate.

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4 thoughts on “Mannequin Takes Queen

  1. Let me see if I can fill in the blanks left by those ellipses:

    “Oh, but I… just wanted to sexually harass you in your place of employment, where you can’t escape. That is… because you work in an adult retail establishment, we have no respect for you as a human being and want to objectify you as much as possible. We… are total scumbags. Oh.”

    I dunno, I think I’m at least in the ballpark.

    Liked by 2 people

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