Straight Girl: [across the store] “Hey.”
Me: [at the register, to the customer in front of me] “Your total is $70.35.”
Straight Girl: “HEY.”
Me: [to the customer in front of me] “Ok, you’re all set. Have a good night.” [then, to her] “May I help you?”
Straight Girl: “So this [pointing to a union suit] is for men, and that [pointing to a leather miniskirt] is for women?”
[Inner Me: Gender-specific dress codes are outdated social constructs designed to oppress both cis women and individuals on the nonbinary spectrum.]
Straight Girl: “Well, why is the ladies’ stuff so revealing, while the men’s stuff covers everything?”
[Inner Me: You speak in too many italics.]
Me: “Union suits are very revealing.”
Straight Girl: [arms crossed; one brow raised confrontationally]
Me: [winning smile]
Straight Girl: [rolls eyes, flounces away]
I do appreciate the chutzpah it took to bow up in a gay bar and accuse the guy selling cock rings of objectifying women, but the fact that she did so while standing next to a display of tear-away codpieces kinda, y’know, bled the blister from her bluster.
Later in the evening, I overheard someone politely but firmly ask her to please stay out of the men’s room. She seemed affronted by that. I can only imagine how quickly her devastating Yelp review will shut this place down.