Waiting to Inhale

Customer: “Which of these solvents is your favorite?”

Me: “You know, I don’t use them myself.”

Customer: “You don’t use solvents?”

Me: “Nah.”

[beat]

Me: “I use straight-up paint thinner.”

Customer: [leaves quickly]

One of these days, I’ll finally accept that my terribly droll flavor of sarcastic wit is not to everyone’s delicate taste.

But oh, trust, I am huge in France.

Huge. Trust.

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