Pick Me Up

Dear customer who constantly hits on me and can’t understand why I won’t reciprocate:

THIS. THIS is why I’ll never go home with you, much less ever love you.

20170921_2020001

What is it, you ask? Why, it’s the EMPTY GODDAMN GLASS YOU LEAVE ON MY COUNTER EVERY BECURSED TIME YOU COME IN HERE.

Also, I have a boyfriend.

Who cleans up after himself.

Regards,

-MJ

PS: If you take the glass with you in the future, the answer is still no. I just wanted to be clear on that.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public

3 thoughts on “Pick Me Up”

  2. I don’t drink coffee. The last guy who would spend nights at my house would leave the coffeepot on, wouldn’t empty out the leftover coffee or the grounds, and would leave his stirring spoon on the counter after using it. I knew it was just a fling, but after the did that the first time, I said to myself, “Add this to the reasons he’s divorced. He wants a maid, not a partner.”

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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