Dear customer who constantly hits on me and can’t understand why I won’t reciprocate:
THIS. THIS is why I’ll never go home with you, much less ever love you.
What is it, you ask? Why, it’s the EMPTY GODDAMN GLASS YOU LEAVE ON MY COUNTER EVERY BECURSED TIME YOU COME IN HERE.
Also, I have a boyfriend.
Who cleans up after himself.
PS: If you take the glass with you in the future, the answer is still no. I just wanted to be clear on that.