My Flair Is Flairier Than His Flair Will Ever Be

Customer: “I love all the pins on your vest!”

Me: “Thanks!”

Customer: “I’m a manager at Walmart, and I have pins all over my vest too.”

[Inner Me: Fuck you, Office Space.]

Me: “Well… neat!”

[then, later]

Same Customer: “$99 for this harness, huh?”

Me: “Actually, I just found a promo code in the system for 15% off, so that would make the total price $92 with tax.”

Customer: “Hmm. I’ll give you $80.”

And with that, the sacred bond between retail workers was irrevocably broken. Attempting to bargain is right up there with “No price tag? That means it’s free, right?” on the Official List of Annoying Shit Customers Say ™ and is unforgivable under the best of circumstances. I have no choice but to call Wal-Mart’s 800 number and report this dude as a devil worshiper, then wear his blood-spattered name badge as a warning to anyone else who seeks to betray the Brotherhood of Service Representatives.

Pin that to your vest, you heretic.

Author: Thumper (MJ)

Thumper Marjorie Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a devout Discordian, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public View all posts by Thumper (MJ)