Customer: “Hi. Um… do you carry… uh… cock rings?”
Me: “We do! I’ve got metal and leather rings on this endcap, and there are silicone rings above the display on the back wall.”
Customer: “Oh. Thanks. Um… how do I… how do I tell which ones will fit?”
Me: “Well…” [insert incredibly explicit yet somehow still professional explanation of how cock rings work here] “… and then just divide by pi, and you’ll have the correct diameter.”
Customer: “Wow. Okay, then. So… am I allowed to… um… I mean, is it okay if… if I try some on?”
Customer: [struggles with curtains]
Me: “Here, let me help with–”
Customer: “Oh. You meant… help with the curtains.”
Me: “Yes. Yes, I did.”
He eventually picked out a ring that (I assume) fit well, and after he paid, he tipped me a couple of bucks for “working so hard.” I think it was really for “working so hard not to judge me,” but I have way too much retail experience to let customers know when I’m openly judging them.
Regardless, it was a very nice gesture on his part. Plus it was the first time a customer left me something that wasn’t an empty beer bottle or a growing sense of disillusionment with the human race.
Much obliged, my twitchy new friend.