Apropos of nothing, but I finally found a decent study guide for my signing agent certification classes.
Come to think of it, I’ll bet there’s a whole lot of usable information on affirmations and acknowledgements in the Necronomicon.
Team Luddite for the Barter
Customer: “Do you take those new-fangled… what do you call ’em… debit cards?”
I am not looking forward to explaining the dark sorcery of the chip reader.
I Need a Sorting Hat and a Meeting
Customer: “I love your pendant!”
Me: “Thanks!”
Customer: “DEATHLY HALLOWS!!!”
Me: “…Oh.”
Customer: “Which house are you?”
Me: “Um, this is actually a recovery symbol…”
Customer: [angrily] “Well I know that. But it looks like Harry Potter.”
Note to self: Just say Hufflepuff next time.
Demographics of Errors
Straight girl: “Oh my God, look at the name of this product!”
Me: [GAY GLARE]
Straight girl: “That’s excellent branding!”
Me: [fizzle]
People with PR and/or marketing backgrounds should really be more identifiable to each other. We need a secret handshake or something.
Pop Quiz
Question: How many times will a drunk customer walk into the same display case before he realizes it’s there?
(Hint: Five. Five fucking times.)
