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Marjorie's Forgeries

Month: June 2017

The Seventh Notary Seal

Apropos of nothing, but I finally found a decent study guide for my signing agent certification classes.

Come to think of it, I’ll bet there’s a whole lot of usable information on acknowledgements and affirmations in the Necronomicon.

20170630_160628-01

Author Thumper (MJ)Posted on June 30, 2017November 3, 2017Leave a comment on The Seventh Notary Seal

Team Luddite for the Barter

Customer: “Do you take those new-fangled… what do you call ’em… debit cards?”

I am not looking forward to explaining the dark sorcery of the chip reader.

Author Thumper (MJ)Posted on June 29, 2017July 30, 2017Tags TMF1 Comment on Team Luddite for the Barter

I Need a Sorting Hat and a Meeting

Customer: “I love your pendant!”

Me: “Thanks!”

Customer: “DEATHLY HALLOWS!!!”

Me: “…Oh.”

Customer: “Which house are you?”

Me: “Um, this is actually a recovery symbol…”

Customer: [angrily] “Well I know that. But it looks like Harry Potter.”

Note to self: Just say Hufflepuff next time.

Author Thumper (MJ)Posted on June 26, 2017July 28, 2017Leave a comment on I Need a Sorting Hat and a Meeting

Demographics of Errors

Straight girl: “Oh my God, look at the name of this product!”

Me: [GAY GLARE]

Straight girl: “That’s excellent branding!”

Me: [fizzle]

People with PR and/or marketing backgrounds should really be more identifiable to each other. We need a secret handshake or something.

Author Thumper (MJ)Posted on June 22, 2017June 14, 2018Tags TMFLeave a comment on Demographics of Errors

Pop Quiz

Question: How many times will a drunk customer walk into the same display case before he realizes it’s there?

(Hint: Five. Five fucking times.)

Author Thumper (MJ)Posted on June 4, 2017July 30, 2017Tags TMF3 Comments on Pop Quiz

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Time To Be Proud: Queer Pride Watches

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I am tragically under-caffeinated. You’re my only hope.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

“In Germany, where dogs bark ‘vow vow’ and both the frog and the duck say ‘quack,’ the rooster greets the dawn with a hearty ‘kik-a-riki.’ Greek roosters crow ‘kiri-a-kee,’ and in France they scream ‘coco-rico,’ which sounds like one of those horrible premixed cocktails with a pirate on the label.” -David Sedaris

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