The Deathly Hallows of the Ancient Mariner

Customer: “I like your pendant! What is it?”

Me: “It’s a recovery symbol.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. [laughing] I thought it was from Harry Potter.”

Me: “Yeah, so did I. But I was really drunk when I bought it.”

Customer: “…”

It’s such a burden to be this hilarious, you guys. It’s like an albatross or whatever.

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Making Change Is Gonna Come

Me: “We close in ten minutes, and I’ve only had credit card sales, so I won’t have to count my drawer down again. Awesome.”

Customer: “Hello! I’d like to purchase this $5 item using a large bill.”

Me: “Well played.”